Busy hands are happy hands?....

Busy hands are happy hands...or so the saying goes, but are they?

I have been thinking a lot about this lately, in the context of my own life, the lives of the women I know and in the context of the changes I am making.

Here is what I am coming to see and understand. In today's society women are expected (often by other women) to be successful, and it seems to me that it is hard to define success and so by default success has been defined by how busy someone is. How many volunteer committees are you involved in, how many nights a week are you running to and from meetings, or children's activities, how many mornings do you rise with a full plate of things to do places to be? How many businesses do you have your hand in? How much networking are you getting in, to push those businesses? How many hours do you spend working to get ahead?

I stopped...

I stopped to ask myself these questions and to take a moment to define what success meant to me.

via my pinterest

I stopped and looked at my life from the inside out, not from the outside in as I had been, and here is what I saw.

I saw someone who from the outside in may have looked like she had it all together.
I saw someone who was busy on this committee or that committee, going to that meeting and this meeting.
I saw a woman who worked to make her business successful and who spent many hours away from her family in order to do that ( even if she was physically present).
I saw a woman who spent quiet moments alone wondering about how her children were but not being with her children.
I saw a woman who was living with her shoulders up around her ears tight with tension and stress trying to please everyone around her, trying to be heard and seen doing the 'important things'
I saw a woman who missed an entire session of her children's swimming lessons because she had a business to run.
I saw a woman who when the weekend came and her children's eyes would light up at the idea of being together as a family had to tell her children no, she had to go to work.
I saw a  woman who had no time to visit her eldest daughter as she begins her life and career.
I saw a woman who had lost sight of her priorities.
I saw a woman I did not like, nor want to be.

Now, not everyone will stop to look and not like what they see. Some people will be completely happy to spread themselves thin and stretch their limits and challenge themselves. For some people this will give them purpose and meaning. It will fill them with pride and contentment. Some will be able to balance the many facets of their lives in a way that makes them feel whole. Not me.

I love my family, my children, my husband and they are my priority. I want to have as much time and flexibility to be with them as I can. I want to be able to be present in all ways, not just physical. I want to stop checking emails and messages every ten seconds because I might miss something. I want to not have a tension headache all the time. I want to feel normal again...whatever that is.

You see, the thing is only you can decide what is right for you, but many of us are trapped or wrapped up in this notion that being busy equates to being successful...it does not...in my case it just makes me tired.

And so as change is the only constant in this world, I am making changes, and I am happier for it. I left all the committees I was on. I stepped away, and the world did not crumble. I am closing the business we have worked at for the last four years because now is not the time for this...now is a time to be a mom, and while I will have to work outside the home, I will come home at the end of a day and be present. I will have weekends to spend with my children and I will have vacations to take. Hopefully my shoulders will drop and the headaches will lessen. I will be a dedicated employee but when it is time to head home, I will be a dedicated wife and mother. This will be my definition of success.

I wish each of you your own definition of success.
Jo

9 Saturdays...

I don't know if you count or not, but I do and it is 9 Saturdays until Christmas.

via my pinterest

I love Christmas, I love the lead up to it, the change of the seasons, the cozy feelings that come with that and the planning and build up to the big day. I love the anticipation of young children and the reading of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' . I love the decor, the yearly argument with my husband about how soon we can put a real tree up, the planning to get the outside lights up before the weather turns too cold and we freeze while doing it. I love it all. And while for many it is too soon to even start thinking about it, this year I have added reasons for having Christmas on the brain.

You see this Christmas will mark the end and the beginning for us. Our little gallery here in Muskoka will be closing at the end of the year, and so this year Christmas marks the last time I will see many of my loyal patrons and it marks the end of this remarkable journey, and the beginning of a new stage in our lives.

It has been an excruciatingly difficult time deciding to close this business we have dedicated ourselves to over the last four years, and that has been a fixture in our community for 15 years, and while we are trying to sell it, we have also had to plan for the possibility it won't and we needed to put a date on things to move on. So it is that we decided to call it a day at the end of the year and go out on a Christmas high.

via my pinterest

We have been blessed and though being a small business owner is harder than most would understand, with much less monetary reward than many think, we have loved it, but realize now that this is not the time in our lives to be doing this. With two young children we need time to be able to spend with them. Weekends, Holidays, vacations...we need those things. As we move forward I am excited to be returning the world of Interior Design and will be working with some wonderful people who have been extremely supportive during this time. I'm not gonna lie, I am also looking forward to a regular pay cheque and two days a week off. That will be heaven to me!

At the heart of it, we are returning to simplicity where we can refocus on ourselves and our family and put that first above all else. My husband and my three girls that is what it is all about.

So as I count down the last 9 Saturdays until Christmas I face many things that need doing, but I know that at the end of this mountain of work lays a wonderful new road ahead and I am grateful and excited and sad and nostalgic all at once. but above all else, I am at peace and I am happy.

Jo

*note* If you or anyone you know is interested in purchasing a wonderful art gallery and gift shop in the heart of Muskoka please contact me at art@silverbridgegallery.com

To Be Thankful...

Today, for many, is the beginning of an extra long weekend as we here in Canada celebrate Thanksgiving, so today I thought I would share why I am thankful.

Today I am thankful for my husband and children. Jake is my best friend and I truly do not know what I would do without him. He makes each day brighter in some way or another, can always bring a smile to my face even amid tears and he loves me like no other. My Girls bring me innumerable moments of joy, whether it is my oldest settling into life as a grown woman, and doing so with strength, courage and a great deal of poise, or my middle daughter running her first cross country race to my youngest who decided to sail to India this morning in a wicker laundry basket.

Today I am thankful for my mother, father and brother. My mother who cares for my wee girls when I cannot and who does so with such joy and happiness that the moment she enters the room they run screaming  N A N N Y !!!! and jump into her arms...even though they see her every day. My dad who at this very moment is tiling my tub surround because I have to be at work, but more than that he is a man who would do anything for his children and we know it. My parents are full of the most important kind of love, the love that abounds and lets their children know that no matter what and above all else they are loved. I am thankful for my brother who is going through a major life change and has sacrificed a lot to do so (perhaps more than he should). We are excited to have him in our home as he starts this new chapter in his life and we are excited to have 'Uncley J' around for lots of fun and games with the girls.

Today I am thankful for the friends I have...though not many they are the best kind of friends who are there when you need them, no matter if it has been three days, three weeks or three months since you last saw them.

Today I am thankful for the changes we are about to undergo as we begin the process of closing our business and moving on to the next stage in our lives. I am thankful for the opportunity that being a small business owner has given me, for the things I have learned and the people I have met along the way. And although we will be open for the balance of the year, I am thankful for the many words of kindness and understanding that we are receiving after having shared this very difficult decision.

Today I am thankful for the job I have waiting in the wings and the people who have so generously understood my current situation and are still willing to wait to take me on board. I look forward to the new challenges this job will bring, to returning to a world I love, and to be working once again with some amazing people whom I have had the pleasure of working alongside before.

I have so much to be thankful for, I am brimming with gratitude and hope you have half as much to be thankful for and moreover that you are able to recognize all that you do have, it is a wonderful state to be in, and I hope you can join me...what are you thankful for?

Cheers,
Jo